Is it over yet? (Not even close)

Apparently I have a chronic issue remembering the password for this account... lame.

So, Nobama won the election today. I'm bummed, because he's disappointed me a lot. At first, I was all about him. His speeches and thoughts were brilliant and inspiring, he spoke for change and reform, and excited all of the optimism in me.

Aaand then-

He lies. He hides. His charm turns smarmy, and his calm becomes oddly robotic. He can't decide who his (powerful & influential) friends are, and falls victim to very convenient amnesia.

I can't stand people who don't take responsibility for their words and actions.

Needless to say, I'm worried. Obama is even making me (with my socialistic leanings) uncomfortable. I believe in social responsibility and personal giving in a capitalistic society. I do not believe that the government should take my hard-earned money and give it to everyone else. I believe that I should take my hard earned money and give to those less fortunate. I believe that it is the church's job to care for the widow and the orphan, not my personal job to support the lazy.
I believe that the government should leave me alone, and have far less say in my daily life.
I'm pretty sure Obama is going to do the opposite of that. Is he what this country needs? We'll see.

I'm waiting to be impressed.

I'm a weird libertarian, but is anyone else with me here?

I'm skurred of moving

So, the time has finally (almost) come. Friday we're finishing packing and moving everything down to a storage unit in Escondido. It's kinda funny to think of the things that we can live without, even though I'll miss having and using a lot of the stuff. All of my grandpa's (and my) paintings, wedding pictures, winter clothes, an entire box of shoes, three full boxes of books (at current packing status, at least), and all kinds of other possessions that somehow become so valuable. My favorite things aren't the most expensive, though, which I think is pretty good. I'll miss having the homey, memory filled things around for the next few months.

Right now it's looking like we're going to rent a room from a lady named Julie. Besides her, there are 3 my-aged girls living there, and Jake says they all seem really nice. I have to go down there tomorrow though to meet them, because they need to meet me before they decide if we can live there. I totally understand, but it'll be pretty lame if they don't like me. We're moving on Friday... that's a whole two days away...

Needless to say, i'm a little stressed out. I'm spending half of each day at Hire A Helper, trying to pack the whole house, and save some time for the friends that are going to be so much harder to see now.

I need me some Jesus-lovin. I know that He should be my constant, but sometimes it's so hard to find that. I'm one of those dumbs who always realizes again and again when things get hard that Jesus is the only answer. Jake is wonderful in his way, but he was never intended to be my all-in-all. That spot is for my Saviour alone... and I really wish that I were better at living up to my vow of faith and life.

I'm skurred of so many things-- where to live, new roommates, never finding a house and always having roommates, drifting away from friendship with Jake because we don't have much one-on-one time, getting a real all the way degree, finding a real job, wasting my life, never helping anyone or changing someone's life...

I'm a big fat whiner. I'm sorry. But what else are blogs for, right?

How are you?

I'm back!

Holy Crap. I haven't been able to log in to this blog or the associated email account in ages. Turns out the password isn't chucknorris, like Jake insisted that it was. :)

I'll be back soon to post a real blog with real updates, but right now i'm busy at work... kinda. I'm at my internship at hireahelper.com learning search engine optimization. I'm supposed to be writing a blog saying what i've learned so far.

I'm totally writing a blog.... just maybe not the right one. Mike kicks ass for giving me this opportunity. i'm gonna stop wasting his time now. :)

Tradition

(I'm never good at intros, so I'm just gonna do 'how I do' in normal conversation: that is, plunge right in)

Something in me longs for ceremony and tradition. Human nature, personality, something in me- I really don't know what. Whatever it is kinda makes me wish I was Anglican. Or Jewish. Ha, or as my 5 year old cousin calls it, "Messy Jew". She means Messianic, and she cracks me up.

It's something that I've been thinking about for quite some time, but was re.... activated(?) after reading this article a few weeks ago. I sent the link to Dr. Mooney (our pastor, and a past professor of mine) to ask him what he thought of it.
In a quick conversation at school one day, he gave me a quick overview of his thoughts. He wasn't so much a fan of the mystic, emergent-y elements, mainly because repentance isn't a nice, or uplifting feeling. It's tough. It's a nitty-gritty, no fun, prostration before the Living God please-don't-kill-me-i-suck-so-much kinda thing. I completely agree. Besides, the idea that we only somberly think of our mortality and badness for a month and a half out of the whole year is pretty lame.

There's also the problem with traditions and ceremonial rites that it gets us complacent and tuned-out to the whole thing. That is certainly a concern for all (western, mostly, i think) peoples, because we love our comfort, and we'll settle right in to just about anything if you give us a few minutes.

So I see the shortcomings of ceremonial things, but I still long for them. Am I wrong?

I really don't know. I think that ceremony is a way for humans to connect with something bigger than themselves, be it God or community or whatever else. For me, at least, it's an emotional connection fer sherrr. My intellect doesn't really give a crap for cathedral acoustics, stained glass, speaking beloved texts in unison with my brothers and sisters, etc., but my emotional side really does.

So the important thing for me to figure out, I think, is what place does this really have in my relationship to the Most High? Is it important to help me connect with the awe of His Power and Majesty that sometimes seems hard to find? Or is it just another stupid idea for me to get tangled up in? (I tend to get pretty tangled, sometimes)

I long to feel His glory and power and majesty and beauty and just be in total awe and wonder at it. (It'd be pretty cool if I didn't crap myself at that point, too.)

So I dunno. Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone wanna read the Book of Common Prayer with me? (I don't have a copy, but my birthday's coming up! [hint hint])

I'm so excited!

Hello!!

So, i haven't been able to log into this account for some reason, which is why there have been no new posts for quite a while. Sorry about the bipolar tone of the other posts!


Anyway, i'm on my way to work, but i thought that since i managed to log in i sould leave a little note.

Update: We are blessed, and God is good. haha- not so much of a surprise there, huh?
times are hard, but we're making it. we still have a roof, a bed, and food, so i'm very grateful. other things could be better, but every hard thing is a chance for us to grow.

Pray that we use the opportunities to grow stronger and closer to our Lord.


Okay, i'm like super cheerleader here, but whatever. Gotsta go to work now.

lovelovelove